I keep a close eye on the tag of “miscarriage” here on Tumblr. I try to invite as many people to our community as possible to show them that they are not alone and to help them find some sort of comfort.

Today I came across a post in which a girl says she is not trying to offend anyone, but basically that if you are pregnant you should’t tell anyone until after the first trimester and that you can’t love a fetus. You can only love the idea of a baby at the end of it. Etc. She is currently experiencing a healthy pregnancy.

I took offense and I’m sure many of you would as well.

I was 22 when I found out I was pregnant. About to turn 23. I was engaged (and still am). I wanted my baby. I named Kaden because he was a fighter and I find deep meaning in names (Kaden is Irish for “fighter”). I did not know Kaden’s gender. I told my family, his family, and some friends. Many people figured it out for themselves simply by my actions and how I looked.

I refuse to let others make me feel like I loved the “idea” of a baby. I had more of a connection with my child then that. I heard a heartbeat. I saw movement on an ultrasound. I was giving LIFE and a life is MUCH MORE then just an “idea”.

People who have not experienced this can be ignorant and misunderstanding. And even those who have suffered a loss can show ignorance to the connection that others may have had with their pregnancy that they did not. Know that they are wrong. They are DEAD wrong.

Your child was a real, tangible thing. Not a thought. And anyone who thinks your baby was anything less then that is someone who will never know how deeply love can run.

- Maureen